Tim Was THERE - Tiananman Square

Just by looking at Tim you wouldn't think that he alone is responsible for the lives we lead today, but believe that he is. For you see, every significant event in history that you can name was influenced in some way by that crazy mo'fo.

Starting today I'm going to show you what Tim has done throughout history, so we can all celebrate and thank him, and if you happen to see a historical image that somehow looks different from what I'm showing you, then I'm afraid you have been lied to, because TIM WAS THERE.

Example One, during the protests in Tiananmen Square in 1989, the Chinese military were sent in to remove the protesters, and by remove they meant "crush like a pancake". But one man stood in front of several tanks and stopped their advance.

That man was Tim

It was unknown at the time of course that it WAS Tim, so he was erroneously referred to as "Tank man", but now he is known as "Tim Man, stopper of fucking tanks like a pro". Tim however had no intention of stopping any tanks and was just there to get some food after his Father had sent him to fetch some Chinese take-away. Of course Tim being Tim he went all the way to China for it.

However some have claimed Tim was not there due to the fact that Tim was born in 1988, only a year before the incident. But these arguments are dismissed on the basis that, it's TIM were talking about here, he can probably time travel, you don't know!

In honour of Tim's bravery every year thousands of people throw themselves in front of tanks on "Tank Day" However they are all killed because only Tim is awesome enough to have pulled this off.